Every news organization in the world (but mostly just The Odyssey) has written some derivative article about hookup culture in colleges around the US. They say that hookup culture is ruining dating and tells guys that girls don’t want to be treated well. I mean that’s all a load of bullshit.
“Hookup culture” is how college kids explore what they want out of life and love before they have to choose their partner for life (or at least a pretty long time). It’s FUN. You get to kiss a lot of people and hone skills and figure out who you are/what you want! It’s a lil messy but it’s easy and simple when you’re trying to figure everything else out.
I’m gonna be honest, I’m not a big participant in hookup culture. I think it’s wonderful and should never be condemned but at the end of the day it’s really just not for me. I hate awkward, unstimulating (mentally, get your head out of the gutter!!) flirting over tinder or slurring loudly over the music in a bar. For me, real I-wanna-rip-your-clothes-off attraction only comes after knowing someone so no matter how much I’m leaning into a boy at the bar or dancing with him, I’m not going to go home with him. I might (probably will) make out with him, but that’s because kissing is equivalent to shaking hands for me.
I’m a stupid fucking romantic. I always have been, I always will be. Boys are fun when you’re flirting at the bar, but when both of you are in a bedroom I think there should be a connection past “he’s cuter than all the other boys at the bar.” And you know what? I absolutely hate that about myself. I wish I could hookup with boys I think are cute and don’t know my life’s story and what music I like, but the thought of that makes me want to throw up!! I’m not a traditional girl. I don’t care about sex before marriage, I don’t care about finding my true love at 20, I don’t care about any of it but somehow I have been INFECTED.
I thought it was nerves at first and safety that made me be wary of hooking up with strangers but I soon came to realize that I just don’t want to be with anyone that doesn’t make me feel like the greatest thing they’ve ever seen mentally and physically (which is definitely my egocentricism + love of rom coms mixed together). It’s hard for someone to make me feel like they’re obsessed with me when they don’t even know me! Maybe this has to do more with me needing validation from boys than anything, but I really hope not. I’m just gonna keep calling myself a romantic.
Go forth and do whatever the fuck you wanna do and don’t feel like you have to justify what you’re doing (or who you’re doing it with) to anyone else just be honest with yourself about what you’re doing and why and if you feel good about it. I’m gonna go kiss a lot of boys.