half birthday

Life Chat

When I turned 20 I wrote a list of the 19 things I learned in my 19th year in life. I didn’t really share it with anyone I just wrote it and saved it away. Now I am officially 20.5 years and 7 days old (my half birthday was a week ago). Everything I wrote is still true and there are some hard lessons that I learned that year but I can’t help but feel that I didn’t really learn anything at all.

I gave myself the best tips in the world; I know myself so deeply, something that I truly pride myself on, but I have not followed most of them. I haven’t taken the time to do the little things like write down everything because I still have the worst memory in the world or be more mindful. I know that if I did my life would be exponentially better! And it’s easy to say tomorrow or next week I’ll fix this, I’ll work on this but now at 20.5 years old I’m so happy I looked at this list today. It’s nice to know I have these checkpoints in my life when I feel lost and this feels as timely as ever.

I highly recommend lists like these for everyone for any birthday. I’m excited to see how I change over the years and I hope I look back on this 19 year old list 10 years from now and think everything on my list is common sense, things I’ve already internalized so much they are a part of my knowledge.

Anyways the aforementioned list in all its glory:

19 Things I Learned at 19

  1. Some people aren’t going to be in your life for as long as you think they will be and that’s okay – life works like that sometime
  2. Just start doing things. That’s the hardest part for you, just fucking start something.
  3. Anxiety is now a part of your life in a way that it never has been before. You’re dealing with it, you’re okay.
  4. Plus, you got through the worst 5 months of your life so you’re strong (?) I guess
  5. Black women are so important and beautiful and the world will never appreciate us fully. Love yourself in the meantime and your flawless, smooth, melanin-rich skin
  6. Positivity is really important do not forget that
  7. Write everything down!!! It works!! You forget everything just do it!!!
  8. Surrounding yourself with good people will absolutely change your life/cherish them with your whole heart
  9. Who you’re around affects you a lot so if you’re sad hang out with people and get happy, it literally works every time for you (because you’re an easily manipulated piece of shit)
  10. It’s good to be a good person but roasting people brings you joy, don’t forget that
  11. Don’t hookup with boys that aren’t nice to you all the time, which is literally common sense but apparently you can’t fucking understand this
  12. Your body doesn’t handle drinking very well – you know this, stop drinking so much
  13. Kissing boys is fun. Kiss all the boys you want while you can.
  14. You like REDACTED. A lot. That is okay, do not feel guilty about this.
  15. Money isn’t the most important thing in the world but dude it makes shit easier so stop spending all your money
  16. Being extra is in your goddamn DNA. it’s not even extra it’s just loving yourself as much as you want when you want ok
  17. You won’t regret your tattoo ever. You are happy, you will always be happy, this is your reminder (get the moon next!!)
  18. Family is so so so important but you really don’t have to like them. Don’t push them away, just accept them for who they are
  19. You look really good. You feel really good. That is all that is important.